Silva Neves Online Specialist Psychotherapy for Central London,
Mayfair W1

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Psychosexual & Relationship Psychotherapy. Sexual abuse. Compulsive sexual behaviours

COVID-19: My Central London practice remains closed for the foreseeable future. I only offer appointments online. Get in touch by e-mail:

Welcome to my website. I hope that it is going to be informative and helpful enough for you, to enable you to make your next step into therapy.

Psychotherapy provides a confidential, caring and non-judgemental setting that could help you understand and change difficult areas of your life.

I am a specialist psychotherapist in:
  • Psychosexual and relationship therapy, also known as couples counselling or sex therapy.
  • Post-affair recovery. Helping couples heal and rebuild their relationship after the disclosure or discovery of an affair.
  • Treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours and problematic use of pornography, and therapy for partners.
  • Sexual trauma therapy and EMDR: therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, rape, relational traumas, neglect in childhood and treatment for PTSD.
  • LGBTQ- specific issues including chemsex, survivors of conversion therapy, acceptance of sexuality, coming out, body image issues, the trauma of homophobia.
  • Bereavement and Grief: losing a loved one. Help for the dying. Disenfranchised grief.
  • Clinical supervision for psychotherapists, counsellors and other health professionals.

    My model of psychotherapy is integrative and humanistic. It means that I will use different approaches from different therapeutic models to suit your needs best. I integrate psychotherapeutic modalities such as: Gestalt, Psychodynamic, CBT, ACT, Transactional Analysis combined with specific psycho-sexological knowledge and diverse relationships.

  • I am currently based online only

  • Home. hand in hand

    Sex & Relationship therapy

    Sex & Relationship. Intimate relationship therapy (couples therapy and therapy with multiple partners). Individual Therapy
  • Communication problems in relationship(s), including frequent arguments, rows, blaming
  • Healing after the disclosure or the discovery of infidelity. For more information, Click Here
  • Differences in sexual desire within the relationship(s)
  • Sexless relationship(s) or loss of sexual desire
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Learning how to make connections with your partner(s)
  • Sexual problems such as unreliable erections (or erectile dysfunction), rapid ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, vaginismus, dyspareunia, difficulties with orgasms, etc.
  • Ending relationship(s) constructively, with empathy.
  • It is also known as Couples Counselling or Marriage Counselling. For more information on Intimate Relationship Therapy or Couples Therapy, Click Here
  • I'm a kink-aware therapist and safe for sex workers (which means I do not pathologise sex workers for their work).

  • Home. Sex addiction

    Compulsive sexual behaviours & problematic use of pornography.

    Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, most commonly known as 'sex addiction'
  • Frequent preoccupation by sexual thoughts.
  • Repetitive and unwanted sexual behaviours having a negative impact on life.
  • Difficulties stopping the sexual behaviours despite negative consequences to life and relationship(s).
  • Feeling bad about the sexual behaviours.

    Problematic use of pornography
  • Frequent preoccupation with sexual thoughts and pornography.
  • Using pornography to the extent of having negative impact on life.
  • Difficulties stopping the use of porn despite negative consequences to life and relationship(s).
  • Feeling bad about the use of porn.
  • Relationship problems as a result of problematic use of porn.

    My treatment for compulsive sexual behaviours and problematic use of porn is holistic, non-shaming with an integrative approach of classic psychotherapeutic methods and modern psycho-sexological interventions.
    For more information, Click Here

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    Trauma Therapy. EMDR. Sexual abuse.

  • Adult survivor of sexual abuse in childhood: healing for men and women. For more information, Click Here
  • Survivors of sexual violence and rape: healing for men and women. For more information, Click Here
  • Treatment of PTS and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
  • Adverse childhood experiences: healing for men and women from physical abuse, psychological abuse, verbal abuse, bullying, other neglects and other adverse childhood experiences. For more information, Click Here
    For more information on traumas, Click Here

    I also offer:
    Early Intervention trauma therapy: a short treatment for recent trauma to avoid the development of PTSD. For more information, Click Here
    Group Trauma Therapy: for survivors of recent or historic mass traumatic event (terrorist attack, natural disaster, sexual abuse in an institution). For more information Click Here

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    LGBTQ specific issues.

  • Therapy dedicated to LGBTQ specific issues(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender)
  • Coming out. For more information, Click Here
  • Acceptance of sexuality, sexual desires and gender identity
  • Survivors of homophobic attacks. For more information, Click Here
  • Survivors of conversion therapy/ conversion abuse. For more information, Click Here
  • Recreational drugs and sex, also called Chemsex. For more information on Chemsex, Click Here
  • HIV diagnosis, living with HIV and relationships with different HIV status. For more information, Click Here
  • Body image issues, including Muscle Dysmorphic Disorder (MDD). For more information, Click Here
  • Diversity of sexualities and relationships. Exploration of non-binary sexualities, including open relationships, polyamory. Exploration of kink sex in a non-pathologising approach. Sexuality diversity include the exploration of asexuality. For more information, Click Here
  • I employ a sexuality diversity affirmative approach. For more information on therapy for the LGBT community, Click Here

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    The loss of a loved one. Bereavement and Grief. Help for the dying.

    I offer therapeutic support for:
  • Making sense of the feelings of grief.
  • Processing Complex Grief.
  • Process the loss of someone whom you had an ambivalent relationship with.
  • Process the grief when your loved one died by suicide.
  • Process the grief of losing a child.
  • Process the grief of sudden death and traumatic death.
  • Help with the loss that nobody talks about when your intimate partner dies: the loss of your sexual self.
  • Disenfranchised grief.
  • Help for the dying, from terminal diagnosis, decline and death.
    For more information, Click Here

  • Home. covid nurse

    Coronavirus support

    Psychological First Aid
    The Coronavirus crisis is unprecedented. Our nation as well as the rest of the world is deeply affected by it.
    I offer different types of online support for people who are struggling in the Coronavirus times:
  • Short-term support to help manage intense emotions in these difficult times.
  • Short-term couples therapy on managing the relationship in these difficult times.
  • Short-term therapy on managing unusual sexual behaviours that may arise in these difficult times.
  • Short-term therapy on managing maladaptive coping mechanism for better ones.
  • Therapy for grief and loss.
  • Therapy for recent trauma to help reduce the development of PTSD.
    For more information, Click Here

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    LOW COST therapy for Compulsive Sexual Behaviours

    Are you struggling with compulsive sexual behaviours?
    Are you distressed because you feel that your pornography use is out of control?

    Low cost help is available!

    I have a team of therapists offering low cost therapy for people struggling with sexual compulsivity.
    Our approach is sex-positive, non-pathologising and informed by sexology.

    For a list of specialist therapists, Click Here

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    Therapy for Sex Workers

    I provide safe and ethical therapy for sex workers and their partners, which means that I do not pathologise (or shame) sex workers for their choice of work.
    The problems I help sex workers and their partners with include:

  • Sex and relationship problems
  • Post-trauma stress symptoms
  • Difficulties due to being stigmatised and marginalised
  • Loss and bereavement

  • Home. Family Therapy

    Relationship and Sex MOT

    Many people call a sex and relationship therapist when things are not going well. But what if you could avoid your relationship or your sex life becoming difficult? By keeping in touch with your sex and relationship MOT, you can avoid the crisis point and you may not need to see a therapist to repair things.
    Don’t delay, book your Relationship and Sex MOT today for a thorough check-in.

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    Clinical Supervision

    I provide ongoing clinical supervision for psychotherapists and counsellors working in the psychosexual and relationship therapy area and trauma therapy area.
    I also offer one-off consultations to psychotherapists, counsellors and other health professionals who do not work in those specialist areas and who need a consultation to work with a particular client/ patient. For more information, Click Here

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    Read my blog on Psychology Today

    I write articles on various topics related to gender, sexuality and relationship diversity for the international blog Psychology Today. The aim of this blog is to offer food for thoughts for therapists and the public.

    Home. CSB Book Cover

    BOOK: Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. A Psycho-Sexual Treatment Guide for Clinicians

    Available Here

    Compulsive Sexual Behaviours offers a unique approach to the struggles people face with their out-of-control sexual behaviours.

    This comprehensive guide is deeply rooted in the science of sexology and psychotherapy, demonstrating why it is time to re-think the reductive concept of ‘sex addiction’ and move towards a more modern age of evidence-based, pluralistic and sex-positive psychotherapy. It is an important manual for ethical, safe and efficient treatment within a humanistic and relational philosophy.

    This book will be an important guide in helping clients stop their compulsive sexual behaviours as well as for therapists to self-reflect on their own morals and ethics so that they can be prepared to explore their clients’ erotic mind.

    "Silva Neves brings the understanding of compulsive sexual behaviors into the 21st century with a rigorous review of the past and latest literature and research. His argument that correct language dictates correct treatment is spot on and provides an exhaustive and comprehensive list of action steps for the initial assessment to ensure accurate assessment, diagnosis and treatment. His clinical examples bring all this to life through his clients. His plead for therapists to be not only sex positive but also pleasure positive is timely in a world that is missing proper sex education. I highly recommend this book."
    Joe Kort, PhD is a sex and relationship therapist and co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.  

    "Compulsive Sexual Behaviours is a much-needed book taking a sensible, critical, and pragmatic approach to the topic of 'sex addiction'. Silva's book offers an alternative model which puts pleasure, consent, and self-understanding at the heart of the therapeutic endeavour with people who struggle with their sexual behaviour. It contains everything you need to know about the theory and research in this area, plus a helpful and practical guide for practitioners about how to work around this theme with clients. The book is friendly, accessible, and engaging throughout, drawing pluralistically on relevant therapeutic and sexological approaches, and providing nicely inclusive examples of work with clients from across gender, sex, and relationship diversity." 
    Meg-John Barker, author of Sexuality: A Graphic Guide, Enjoy Sex, and The Psychology of Sex.

    "This pioneering textbook for therapists provides a wonderfully creative set of tools and techniques for how to work with people who feel their sexual behaviour is compulsive or out of control. This is a timely book. Just as the World Health Organisation has decided to include, for research purposes, a new diagnostic category to try to help clinicians assist patients who are concerned with their sexual behaviours. I am delighted to recommend the first European textbook to tackle Compulsive Sexual Behaviour (CSB) from a sex-positive perspective. Informed as it is, by the latest sexual science into the neurobiology of sex, Neves also delivers a powerful critique of the sex addiction movement in the UK and beyond. However, he offers us much more than this. He packs this book with tools, theories and metaphors for understanding and working with CSB. It will become an invaluable treatment manual for sexologists to help them help their patients decode their erotic templates and work towards a holistic model of biopsychosocial sexual health."
    Dominic Davies, Fellow National Council of Psychotherapists, Founder of Pink Therapy

    "Silva Neves takes a modern perspective on the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviours that moves away from the traditional single framework ‘sex addiction’ model to a more pluralistic approach. He deals respectfully with the difference of opinion between professionals working within the field and clearly articulates for the reader the distinctions between addiction and compulsivity, as well as the clinical issues with applying the addiction model to treatment. At all times the welfare of his client is central to his thinking and the chapter on Ethics challenges us all to reflect on our thinking about ethics, sex and sexual behaviour. There is good coverage of assessment, formulation and treatment with excellent case studies to illustrate the process. Interventions are drawn from the field of sexology and utilise variety of psychotherapy modalities including a consideration of the Memorandum of Understanding on Conversion Therapy and the dangers the clinician faces in accidental conversion therapy. What shines through this book is Silva’s passion for his subject and his compassion for his clients. It is an excellent, clearly written book that is essential reading for experienced clinicians as well as those in training."
    Jo Coker. COSRT Professional Standards Manager and Chair of the Professional Standards Board. HCPC Counselling Psychologist and a COSRT senior accredited psychosexual therapist, accredited clinical supervisor and accredited mediator. Fellow of COSRT. 

    "After years of study and clinical practice with the presenting issue of unwanted sexual behaviours, Silva Neves is clear that the sex addiction approach is inadequate. In this much needed book he refocuses the therapist to explore the client’s erotic template and the drivers behind their compulsivity, rather than on behavioural prevention. He offers a trauma informed, three phase treatment approach to the resolution of compulsivity, that honours the unique sexuality and sexual expression of the client. This book is a generous sharing of Silva’s experience with the evident intention to help its reader to provide a sexology informed, non-shaming service to clients presenting with the  complex experience of sexual compulsivity. It is research based, contemporary, inclusive and pluralistic. It is a must read for all professionals working with the themes of sex, relationships, addiction and compulsion."
    Julie Sale. Director of The Institute of Clinical Sexology. COSRT Senior Accredited Sex and Relationship Therapist and Supervisor. UKCP Registered and Accredited Psychotherapist

    Home. Connection

    I provide therapy in English and in French

    I currently offer consultations online only via Zoom.

    Connect with me:
    Follow me on Twitter
    Follow me on Instagram: @silvanevespsychotherapy
    Visit Facebook page

    Home. SRT Editorial

    Sex and Relationship Therapy.

    I am proud to be an editorial board member for the leading journal Sex and Relationship Therapy. International Perspectives on Theory, Research and Practice.

    Home. Cherry Valentine

    Cherry Valentine, Gypsy Queen and Proud

    At 18, George Ward left the Gypsy community. He felt rejected after coming out as gay. Leaving his Gypsy identity behind, he invented Cherry Valentine, a drag alter ego. Now, he wants to find out if he can be accepted as a queer Gypsy and feel proud.

    In the programme, George visits my clinic to discuss the impact of homophobia on the mental health of the LGBTQ+ people, and how to learn to accept and love ourselves.

    Available on BBCiPlayer from 25 January 2022.
    BBC3 on 1st February 2022.

    Home. Sex On The Couch

    BBC programme: Sex On The Couch

    Tune in on BBC3 and weekly on BBC1 from Friday 26th April 2019
    The aim of the programme is to de-mystify psychotherapy, particularly couples therapy and sex therapy. It is to normalise therapy and send a message to the public that it is ok to seek help for sex and relationship difficulties.

    I am an accredited member of COSRT

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