Silva Neves Specialist Psychotherapy in Central London EC1 & Reading, Berkshire RG1



Problematic use of pornography. Hook up apps

Problematic use of pornography

Just like ‘sex addiction’, there is no clinical evidence that ‘porn addiction’ is addictive. Despite many books and websites that claim that pornography is harmful, the clinical research consistently rejects this theory. However, pornography can be harmful to young children who are exposed to it too early.

For adults, pornography, like most things, can be a healthy behaviour when well-integrated in the individual's sex life, and it can also cause problems depending on how it is used.

The use of porn can be a problem if:
The use of porn stops you from functioning in life:
  • You are always late at work because you were unable to stop watching porn and get ready to go to work on time.
  • You don’t turn up to work and call in sick because you would rather continue watching porn.
  • You constantly avoid social occasions with friends because you prefer spending time with porn.
  • You organise your day schedule so that you can be alone at home to watch porn.
  • Porn is your primary way to cope with your emotions: you use porn when you feel sad, bored, anxious, stressed, happy, uncertain.
  • You constantly prefer to watch porn rather than have sex with your partner to the point where you feel uncomfortable having sex with your partner.
  • You feel irritated if your partner’s presence prevents you from watching porn.
  • You injure your penis because you have masturbated for too long or too hard.
  • You develop anxiety about your sexual performance.
  • You develop anxiety about the shape of your body and the size of your penis.
  • You are unable to stop despite significant negative consequences as a direct result of your porn use.


  • Problematic use of pornography. porn addiction

    My treatment for problematic use of porn

    Like ‘sex addiction’ treatment, my professional opinion is that the addiction model is not effective to treat 'porn addiction’. My treatment approach is based on specialist psychosexual training and experience, clinical research on human sexuality, clinical evidence on brain functions and neuropathways, and human psychology.

    My treatment model of problematic use of porn includes:
  • Behavioural approach to help identifying the levels of porn use and masturbation that is wanted from what is unwanted.
  • Learning new ways to self-soothe and cope with the negative feelings about life: stress, anxiety, feeling low, feeling bored, feeling unfulfilled, feeling bad.
  • Deep exploration of your sexual and erotic landscape.
  • Deep exploration of your emotional world and core beliefs.
  • An examination of cognitive processes.
  • Re-instating balance in life: hobbies, positive connections with friends and loved ones, a deep sense of self, finding meaning, higher self-esteem.
  • Healing the possible trauma(s) underlying the roots of problematic porn use.
  • Healing the romantic and sexual relationship that has been damaged by problematic porn use, if appropriate.
  • Re-integrating porn use into a vibrant, diverse and fulfilling sexuality with self and others.

    The treatment for problematic porn use can be short-term. Using specific modern humanistic, evidence-based psychological interventions, people can leave their problematic porn use behind, permanently and change their lives positively.


  • Problematic use of pornography. Eye EMDR

    Quick treatment for problematic porn use: The Feeling State Protocol

    The Feeling State Protocol is a modern, cutting-edge treatment which processes the out-of-control behaviours. Based on EMDR understanding of brain processes, it has shown to be efficient treating problematic porn use.

    The treatment is non-shaming and non-moralistic.

    The Feeling State Protocol breaks the fixation between feeling and behaviours. In the Feeling State Protocol we identify the specific feelings and behaviours and we process these using a modified form of EMDR. Once the process is completed, research has shown that there is no more out-of-control urges and clients to engage in the behaviour in a functional manner.

    The Feeling State Protocol is a quick process. It usually requires 10 sessions. The number of sessions varies depending on the nature of the problematic porn use.

    EMDR is a clinically proven and evidence based psychotherapy which has shown successful outcomes.








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